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The Hardest Part

by orion flowers

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1.
pay no attention to my demeanor 27, working like someone 5 years my senior I had to re-up, no longer kickin' my feet up I put the work in to hurt them like i'm scared of Agent Zero, I turned down playing arenas (Arenas) Mutombo how I reject it, but they's reckless: still wear their heart on they necklace Took some time off, had to come back quick Aye I (A.I.) got The Answer if you talkin' bout practice Ball is in your court if you just tryn get active But peep how word (Howard) get back to da white (Dwight)folk while I'm tryn play my tape for the right folk, watch how I tightrope Aint no tellin' how I might go I'm liable to show you what compassion do You throwin' rocks, you trippin but I wont laugh at you Glass houses don't leave much to imagine dude Black e'erthing, make it chocolate, I'm Majiin Buu How we gon move on up when the ceiling is glass too? You must be off your rocker if you thinkin' I'm past due ain't have the patience for back and forths when I passed you ... I etch my name in the rock like I'm Jay Z's boy Back-bitin' and Judasing leave your crew missing My alibi is DVR and a La-Z Boy But I'm just tryn play for Solange I pray for a launch, on Heron like a flame and silver spoon I just pray that they give us room The pen I'm clinching got you penny pinching, saving your funds cus you know I'm tryn take it all Summer is never mine, I'm happy to take the fall I'll take the fall What you take me for? What they pay me for is whagt you hate me for Tears drying on Amy floor but I stopped drinking, heavily Seeing clear when sober is heavenly Staring at pyramids like it's part of my heritage I still talk like a heretic in The Winterlude A king is born in a snowstorm, the winter's rude Seasonal depression, feel like everything's intentional When you plan God shows you what a wrench'll do Old friends peek in your garden and steal your vegetables and thats kin so just imagine what the rest'll do Watch how every Macho Man try & wrestle you Real RAW, I was hardly Hardy No People's Eyebrow but you seen that look I always had the Edge, but you talkin' bout this lead I (Lita)took You stupid But I'm passed it now, I passed your sound I see pyramids in your genes, like I passed it down the gardener, the pyramid, the humblebee the one who was coolin' with Crips down at the Double Tree Don't come for me, words'll never hurt, the sticks and stones just comfort me I got your number My garden flourish like Black kids in the summer Tulips bloom on their own time in the gutter I guess they just need the adversity Gimme my flowers before you pull out the hearse for me but if they lay on mahogany, that works for me I don't work for free, nigga I work for me A Lost One, I been hidingnparadise I don't listen to peer advice, I Just Do It on both feet like a pair of Nikes I'm back.
2.
[Verse- Tipp] boop boop bop bop then send em back home 1000 miles ta roam i tend silence homes silly to think both sides the same like the protons in izoptopes i been i on my own callin isolations opposition playing zone check the fuckin score niggas losing but i mean... i put a 50 on the board bitch im gorgeous whether the courts asphalt or clay riddle me this why we kin to all windowless pane said he remembered me i sentenced him lifelong flames big ass red wordsy remedial nigga ain’t even peep that it read danger took advantage of the fact he’d been conditioned to receive them images and think exit but oh no you next nigga mufuckas don’t know me bro but i promise they see me yo you ever orgasm off da optical brighter the lights bitch the higher i climb regardless of who i’m gonna get mine regardless of what ima get mine so watch ya fuckin mouth or else i’m gettin yours too The brighter the lights bitch The higher i climb Regardless of who I'm gon get mine [Verse- pj] I keep a ___ on my hip I keep a shoulder with chips I keep it family with Tipp I keep a family of Crips I came from the block, movin hand to hand I ran from the cops, we ran from the shots But neighbors won't call an ambu-lance Say my name pop up like the Candyman think shit sweet I'm at your door like a candygram Gotta a lot of growth And it's all yours Nah I ain't tryn make you cry 'less you Boy George I rose from the hurt A rose from the dirt No thorns on me I came here to flirt A blade in my skirt Aint no drawin on me Keep a tool, man Keep it cool, where ya focus at No face, no case all you'll see the bucket hat Home Improvement That's a movement, hit the chirp like where the fuck you at? They say they movin' I'm sayin prove it I seek improvements They say what's brackin I say I'm coolin No sudden movements I milly rock on any block, on any street Fuck an enemy, played ding dong ditch with success so now i play my cards close to the chest dig ditches, spread riches and fuck the system i'll assist em Noname pussy wrote a thesis on colonialism my gender wrote a dissertation on escaping the prison system two arms, twenty two under the blouse lift the shirt like what the fuss bout hit the block as shorties,drinking auntie 40s gettin cussed out don't inhale the cig, just tosss the butts out overcame obstacles that'll knock you the fuck out Muhfuckas don't know me bro but i promise they see it The brighter the lights bitch The higher i climb Regardless of who I'm gon get mine Watch ya fuckin mouth or else i'm takin yours too
3.
throw off my apron, grab my gardenin shears I'm grounded deeply rooted: been gardenin for years been harvestin' tears, use em to make an etheric world slick as finger waves, you barely twirl the jheri curls I'm greasy, not grimy, use it to make my Soul Glo uptown slim, lost one like i went solo last dragon jones, you ca tell by how my soul glow .. sho'nuff i aint ever met a suit that i could trust i aint never point the heat and not bust I aint never in a rush, i finally found patience Planted myself, my nigga i found placement .. Subhanallah, i been back man Eatin fruit, chasin ghosts, I been Pac-Man .. How you live rich and give part to avoidin taxes when niggas dead broke givin' heart till they soul collapses You roam like flights to Rome, then get home to L.A. address I roam the Southern grown, down home like fried catfish this the hardest part of rapping existing and not reacting This the hardest part of loving and living free I got love in abundance, i can give you the recipe all i ask in return is let me be I aint been sober in over a year Down on my luck, drownin' in tears Saltwater pain drops fall in my beer Hoping my optimism would follow me here Heard from the birds in the trees singing the blues That a king and a poet and love lived here But at the heart of it I'm only here for the art of it The liquor started it Harder to crack a smile than a bottle Tougher to feel love than feel hollow I got 5 dollars and some heart, I'mma show it I dropped out college, told my mama I'm a poet Now the world gon listen To the stories of a South Ward nigga on a mission Or I'm gon die Alone Might not make it But I'm gon try I got.. rose petals in my clinches Bleeding through my mic to get my mama out the trenches Nappy headed nigga with an affinity for money and titities Came up in the Bricks from the gravel Aint never fear shit but a bullet and a gavel\ And niggas got a problem with me but I charge for my time, so aint problem for free Young Oum Kulthuum, I'm the Star of The East
4.
Pride. 02:04
i've been worse but i've been still i don't know what's left You say you would die foreal i won't hold my breath i know you've got crutches still i've got nothing left You got something to hold onto .. i need someone to hold onto .. my needs is obvious no need to stop, it's just You got something to hold onto i need someone to hold onto my needs is obvious no need to stop, it's just You need something to hold onto i need someone to hold onto x2 They say pride cometh before the fall i analyze the descent then give you my all i recognize the scent, smells of withdrawal you put in to my growth, know what i mean? no tears, or so it seems i pattern myself after you and just sew the seams i'm branded, brand new high price, but one can dream high pride, low self-esteem i adore you in the crevices of the space in which i abhor you i adore you

about

i'm bad at this part but, I just wanted to use this space to say thank you for being patient with me. thank you for listening. and feel free to contact me after listening.

May is American Wetlands Month and the 21st is endangered species day. over 50% of sales will be donated to www.savecoastalwildlife.org,

credits

released May 21, 2021

Thank you to T3 & Contour of course. Thank you to Tipp & Kevin Venom. Thanks to those I've badgered into listening to this while I was working on it :) love yall.

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about

orion flowers New Jersey

multidisciplinary artist and chef.
previously published in (but not limited to) fourteenpoems, The Drinking Gourd, Born Again New York, CLE Magazine & Sybil Journal; Their work focuses primarily on personal identity, societal values, theism and Black alternative futures. ... more

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